Nursing babies

[susan]

Richard, if your perception is right then I can relate to this I think.

After experiencing the events not posted on the journal section but the Kundalini section started by DarkChylde .I didn't like it . I was wondering if I wasn't doing enough protection work.This was not my way of thinking or dreaming . Did it have anything to do with my male energy? If it did I didn't want it because I feared it would give me dreams that would lower my moral and make me feel dirty.
I felt that if there was some truth in these male / female energies merging this was turning me against my own male energy and I didn't want it.
However since reading Darkchylde's thread it has me feeling I shouldn't fight this but I could understand what he stated but not what was written.

[eyeoneblack]

Richard, if your perception is right then I can relate to this I think.

After experiencing the events not posted on the journal section but the Kundalini section started by DarkChylde .I didn't like it . I was wondering if I wasn't doing enough protection work.This was not my way of thinking or dreaming . Did it have anything to do with my male energy? If it did I didn't want it because I feared it would give me dreams that would lower my moral and make me feel dirty.
I felt that if there was some truth in these male / female energies merging this was turning me against my own male energy and I didn't want it.
However since reading Darkchylde's thread it has me feeling I shouldn't fight this but I could understand what he stated but not what was written.

Hmmm. That's even more cryptic to me than your dream . But at least you're on the trail. Like someone said, "a dream is an answer to a question you haven't asked yet".

[eyeoneblack]

Did it have anything to do with my male energy? If it did I didn't want it because I feared it would give me dreams that would lower my moral and make me feel dirty.

I must misunderstand that, being male, and if I didn't I don't want to go there.

But you say

I felt that if there was some truth in these male / female energies merging this was turning me against my own male energy and I didn't want it.

Yes, it's a little muddled but I see the deeper truth. As a musician/artist seems I have always been comfortable with my feminine side. Oh, I put on the bully-bully, but it's only cover. On deeper thought, I think I know what you're saying. The men's socks, too big, are salient to the interpretation. That you are in a communal gathering with even a celebrity points to a very positive aspect.

You are doing well. Maybe that's why I like your journal so much.

[susan]

Just back off holiday and will post a few at weekend but Richard, you are so correct with your interpretation about staying on course when an obstruction happens. Well done . Can see it now that it has happened. Dark cloud ,( dark energy) feeling threatened, needing to stay on track.

[eyeoneblack]

Alright then. Got lucky I guess. What's next? Can't wait......

[susan]

I feel I'm getting there and finally taking some control during an OBE. Although always aware of the OBE to record much detail , very often I have someone with me but when reading back I didn't seem to be deciding myself what to do some of the time and although it was always positive I wanted to take control .

But first a few weeks ago I felt very upset and challenged to keep my " inner peace"
This will always be important to me becauseI know that with resentment anger frustration , or
hurt .....this would lower my ability to connect to the beautiful spirit help I was getting.
To summarise.
When you have viewed a pair of spirit eyes looking at you filled with so much love but no words needed.

When you have felt the presence of a beautiful spirit behind you holding you by the shoulders talking into your ear with such love
and could feel this.

When you have been taken to a young boy that you have no recall of but remember telling him that I loved him with all my heart
and was perceived by me as a beautiful,angelic innocent young boy

When you have heard a beautiful loving voice telling you we are all the same sex but we have shared many lives together.
( sometimes the words were a little old fashioned, not used these days like Demi instead of Semi.)

With all of this beautiful connection going on a minor hiccup in physical needed to be worked on .
Physical life can be a challenge when unexpected, but by refraining from any retaliation and seeing this as a challenge to keep my focus clearly on inner peace I worked out how the event happened and saw clearly that I had been clumsy in my choice of words and
Offence was taken which resulted in a hurtful response.
If I come across in my posts as being " sweet ,too good to be true, immature for my age ( 58 with a BSc.) all I will say is that with the love I have experienced from the spirit world all I want to do is to stay in contact and to be worthy of their help and to be as pure in thought as I can which means working things out instead of anger or frustration and giving as much love as possible to the people around me.
I make no apology for this.
Enough said .
It worked and had 2 OBEs within 3 days left me feeling great.

[susan]

OBE
28/10/13

Hadn't been doing any energy work or meditation,was sleeping well when I was wondering when I would succeed with the next OBE when I thought " It isn't tomorrow yet" ( this was the previous day)
Next day woke up at 2.30 am watching a spinning disk in the brow area for a few seconds. ( had this before) Recalled dream about lovely black and white dog. It was adorable .
Decided to raise energy in feet only,just circular movements.( I think I do this because this is where I get the most sensation so you feel your actually stimulating the nerve endings) I had no time frame,just decided to do this as long as needed when I start thinking my legs were floating.Thought that maybe I was just kicking off the bed sheet so looked down and sheet was over feet so carried on for a few minutes when it started again.I realised that my knee joints couldn't physically rotate this way so this was my energy body loosening legs first. Carried on with circular movements when with no effort at all I just floated up and forward this time.No astral noise, no vibrations, no jelly feeling.
Scenery was just like grey cloud around but I knew I was moving.
Passed square photographs. One had me on sitting at a table when I was younger with my eldest son when he was a toddler.
Another with just me on, same table. Another with me sitting again but a side profile of someone sitting with me but it wasn't my husband. It looked like me again but I wasn't sure about this because it disappeared so quickly.
Decided to bin the pictures because I couldn't see any relevance for them.
This next was the best bit that had more meaning.

I'm floating down to the floor. People are moving around in the distance. Activities were going on. I was thinking " this isn't astral landscape, no walls, no hills, no buildings just white all around" . I got excited a little because I realised I was thinking this out as it was happening. I wanted to take control of this one this time.
In the distance I could see men and women on a bicycle, someone walked past me fast then disappeared . I started to move forwards when I thought " no, I need to go back and work this bicycle thing out now, not when I wake up."
Roughly 50/60 /70 men and women all balancing on one single bicycle. Was like a balancing display. they all had black leather outfits on. I thought " well at least they have clothes on this time, that's a relief".( had been having a few dreams involving nudity which even now I have no idea what that was about or why but no big deal, have recorded it above incase need it for future reference) Half way up the display men and women formed what was like a giant water wheel lying on its side.they even formed the spokes between the two edges. This was impressive to look at.
I stood there watching males/ females balancing perfectly on one single bicycle.Decided it didn't need much working out so was really pleased .( not so much because of what it meant but I was standing there knowing I had OBE'd and aware of more thought going on within me)
I float to the right where a large screen has coloured cartoon characters on. I pass it by then once again decide " No I want to go back to look. " This was a screen like a computer or telly with no frame, about knee high tilted slightly just floating. The characters were moving like watching a cartoon. Decided I'd seen enough. Feeling great floated over to another screen . It just had writing on but I couldn't make out any words. They seemed clear enough but they seemed to be changing. Saw a child's plastic toy, but not one I recognise.( I just knew it was)
Looked around and the people had gone, no doors, no windows, no mirrors. Decided I'd seen enough and thought back to body.
Back to body and awake thinking this all through again to retain memory when I sent out a thought that if any beautiful spirit was actually helping me then thank you so much, when I felt the energy in my base chakra and the energy moved slowly upwards appearing to stop at the throat.
Few comments.

Delighted that all thoughts were taking place at the time and clearly working out the meaning at the time, even recalling the previous dreams with nudity, whilst viewing. There seemed to be no vagueness at all.
I took control of where I was going ( once I got there)
Only 180 degree vision again.have had 360 many times but don't know why sometimes just 180.
My one big aim for future events is to go up to someone and speak to someone when experiencing similar clarity

Next day had another one where 180 vision was a blessing.

[eyeoneblack]

That's a humdinger Susan! Congrats on an excellent OBE.

First of all, the pictures: This episode represents what I consider hypnagogic effects which interpret a state of consciousness that is a preamble to the Main Event. You're are just on the threshold of the deeper state ahead. I've never thought too much about this condition, although it's fun, I don't think there is generally anything very useful at this point.

Then you transition again for the Main Event - a bicycle. (Just how many angels WILL fit on the head of pin hehe. Just kidding.)

From this point on your OBE is 'guided'. Your guide is in charge of the show and presents situations for your consideration and instruction. But yours is a bit of a hybrid.

Recently I pm'd CF about one of her dreams. Looking for her feedback. My thoughts centered on the difference between a common dream apart from an LD? My conclusion was that dreams are psyche driven, deal with what's going on in life, are founded often on emotional triggers and are highly symbolic. Whereas the LD/OBE has a much different character.

As simply as I can manage it, the LD feels, to me, like the situation, dreamscape I find myself in was 'going on' before I happened along, and will continue its existence even after I leave. You understand. To me, there isn't really much to interpret about an LD/OBE. It doesn't spring from the well of a dream. It is free of emotional input and as such is merely a trip in space/time.

The reason I feel like yours is a hybrid is this. On some occasions my guide/teacher wants to demonstrate something for me and for this your need you analytical mind (which you are much aware of). I say it's a hybrid because, being a little new to you, you didn't get the 'Ahah' this is school. I may be off base there.

Well, that's my thoughts and as usual take it or leave it

[btw, I've never had any luck talking to a dream character - their eyes glaze over and obviously just don't 'get it'. Maybe I'm invisible to them . Exception, I have asked and received names before. That's a nice habit to practice.]

[susan]

Richard, I will take it. Your advice and Tim's is always welcome. ( and others) . I need input from experienced people in this field as I don't attend any kind of classes . Posting in the journal section seems to be away from the chat that goes on , but this is a journal.
And YES I do agree with what you are saying. Even though I felt in control I knew this was for me only to view.( if I have understood)
Please continue to guide me ( even if you think I'm way off track)

29/10/13
OBE

After the previous nights excursion I was still on a high ( just about to go on holiday) but the high was not the holiday but what I had experienced.
Woke up about 4.am, decided to do the same feet exercises as these seem to work. ( I still started with a token effort of bringing energy from the crown ( less than 5 mins) downwards but to be honest the feet circles are far more relaxing and don't need me to think as I do it )
I was wondering if I should do some work on the brow area and my usual fruit cutting exercise while I continued with the feet when I felt my feet feeling lighter. They were floating above physical and I knew what was going on. Kept on with the feet when body felt was fully out.
This time I'm heading in a 45degree upwards movement. FAST.
This seemed like a long tunnel,everything was black but I knew I was travelling . Problem was I once again only had 180 vision but was travelling backwards.
Needed to take control so decided need to be looking forward so just rolled astral body around so I was now facing where I was going. This was the most rewarding part as I hadn't just accepted the position and once again felt I could control this.
Something touched my leg. Didn't see anything coming, never felt it again so no threat.
Even though everything was black and I was heading upwards I seemed to know this was a tunnel and started wondering when the tunnel would end.
After a few seconds I thought the end seemed a little lighter in colour and wondered if I was coming to the end of it.
THEN
Something started to take shape at what I thought was the end.
It was a massive face of a monster ( human looking. )

This was scary but fun. he was so ugly it did the job. I just knew it couldn't hurt me and had previous experiences of what ROBERT. B calls " gatekeepers"
I knew I wasn't allowed to go any further . Access denied.
This was so much fun because I knew it couldn't harm me but believe me even with this knowledge NO- ONE would have wanted go go any further.
The fact that it took about 3 seconds to materialise gave me time to work out what was forming.
With this I simply rolled on my back so couldn't see anything ( on this occasion happy to have 180 vision) , bent forwards to stop moving towards it and very cowardly but happily thought " Back to body"
Recalled event and still feeling really happy at the event ( Nothing can harm me) this had been fun.
Went back to sleep when woke up to a vision of a man with an old fashioned overcoat on and big heavy glasses on( to me the glasses usually mean -TAKe NOTE-. He was taking his mobile phone out of his pocket ( communication) and I saw a lovely vision of a woman skating on ice performing an. Arabesque on ice completing a perfect circle. Enough said. Loved it .

[susan]

KINSHI.
I came up with a Japanese word.
Co- incidence?
Last day of holiday when woke up at about 5am.
Started thinking of all the food and alcohol I had consumed . I went on holiday heavier than I wanted , so obviously I would be even heavier when returning so how was I to loose weight which becomes harder as metabolism slows down as well as the enthusiasm to do any kind of exercise that doesn't mean lying on your back.?
Worked out what attempts have failed in the past , therefore I must just say ...NO..!
When I fancy a glass of wine I say NO. When I fancy bread, potatoes , pasta, I say NO!
Went to sleep to wake up to seeing a tall glass with ice cubes in and a level of liquid in the glass and got the word KINSHI!.
Wrote word down and googled when back to UK.
Japanese verb. To banish, prohibit, not to allow.
This would make sense, bit why in Japanese?
AKEO.....25/6/13 journal page 7-8.
Few episodes involving baby AKEO which although origin of name cannot be verified this is used as a Japanese name.
26/5/13 journal, holding a baby that I thought had slightly oriental eyes and looking out of the window where the wooden house was in the river and men coming out of the river ( with what looked like lobster or crab pots) I felt at the time it was this area of the world.
Co- incidence??

This morning another co- incidence.
Woke up to one of those very short dreams just before wakening. I could recall a longer dream that took place before it but this was a very different topic and very short.
Was in a room without a door and could see dancers over the corridor in another room . I was to copy the dance moves they were doing but couldn't get the hand movements right. Next thing they are in front of me moving towards me dancing. Next they have me in a chair and my eyes are closed. They are squirting mauve foam on my forehead and I could feel it being squirted on . I thought " they are making me look like a clown" . This had me think of Emily Sande's song ...I'll be your clown.( just love this song.) as the foam covered the forehead it was brought down the cheek where they said " we're getting closer" .

Now reading this I'm not stupid. All of this could be what I'm wanting ..But..
This morning went to work when walked into the room I work in when the first thing I saw was a small 6inch mauve clown on the shelf.
I counted them and someone had put 14 small different coloured clowns on the different shelves. ( for colour and interest for dementia patients. Went down a treat, they all loved them)