Nursing babies

[susan]

I didn't think I would have anything to post so quickly.

Went to bed fine. No extreme tiredness, concerns, listened to beautiful Tibetan tape whilst pottering in house. Everything fine.

Woke up from dream. It was obscene. This disturbed me. Back to sleep and woke up from other dream. This was me in the middle of a lake on a rowing boat and someone is under water swimming up to frighten and kill me. ( there is a resemblance in the scene here to something seen on telly about a week ago. ) This had me a little reluctant to go back to sleep, but just as I was dozing off I saw the face of a man zoom up closer to me and he had dark glasses on. This was not a sight that would have you think ' oh my guide' , There was only a slight resemblance to my father but this frightened me. I'm watching someone be shot. Started to doze again when I felt myself sinking, knew I was on the verge and suddenly felt my whole energy body like a small electric shock going through me. This made me even more alert . Started moving downwards and to the right. Everything was dark, nothing to see but I was so alert that I always get excited when I'm out so not thinking of anything else other than excited to see where I would end up.

Eventually I've stopped but everything is very dark and I could see movement in front of me. This felt like a large area underground but all I could see were outlines of what looked like a giant black buddha, then a giant naked man but he looked like a Neanderthal .
Suddenly everything changed and I'm in light.
This was great, I felt I'd finally got somewhere.
A woman was in front of me going to a tall filing cabinet. She opened it to put some papers in and I went up behind her and said " Hello" . She didn't reply. Another woman was sitting at a table with papers. I thought I should say hello so put my hand on her shoulders and said hello. She didn't reply.
Next thing I'm at the other end of the room and it looks like a large warehouse. Some others are walking to the outside. I wonder why they are walking when they could fly. Didn't want to seem out of place so skimmed across the floor with a pretence of walking. I made a game if it and as I got closer decided I wanted to explore outside while I had time , had to stay focused so rose up in the air and shot above their heads and outside.
I see four men flying high in the sky but they were upside down vertical going in the direction to a valley area ahead. I picked up that there was an air show starting.Next thing I'm down there but decided I didn't have time to waste, I needed to explore.
As I'm now at the top of the valley passing people a young girl has come to the side of me and is walking along side. About 5-6 years of age . I ask her if She wants a cuddle but she says no she has to find her mummy first. She was holding on to a man with her other hand who was small in stature and slightly Indian in origin. He took no notice of me , he didn't seem alarmed that she was holding my hand. Woke up.
Was thinking this one through and had been aware the whole time from leaving body to the end of experience.

Thoughts.
Still a mystery why I had such vile dreams.
If I had projected into the crazy dream zone area, why did I pass this dark area perceiving giant figures first?
If this was the dream zone they seemed to be a community of people interacting and there were of course the people putting on a flying display.
I cannot see this as a learning experience specifically for me as I didn't learn anything from this.
If this was an astral plane, which upon wakening I thought it could have been, the little girl has me confused. Could the young girl represent a younger soul?
I don't know, just pleased to have experienced it but woke up feeling exhausted as if I'd had no sleep.

[CFTraveler]

FWIW, I find that if I see something unpleasant on TV, my subconscious will keep ruminating on it and it'll serve it up to me later for further considering. If I actually observe it closely without flinching, it does not recur. But if I recoil and try to avoid/ignore it it will come back with some other version of the same thing.
About the little girl, it might be a retrieval- just talking to her may have done the trick. But this is just a guess.

[susan]

Thanks CFT. If this was a retreival then it may be connected to some previously recorded events.

Have done some homework on this last one to try to tidy up a few queries.
Such as
1) why didn't the two women aknowledge me when I said hello?

2) what were they doing with filing cabinet and desk ( putting files back into a filing cabinet) at the front of and inside a massive
warehouse? Anythings possible just a bit unusual.

3) (posted 8th May, page 25).......this was where the taxi driver was going to interview me to let me know how many people he had lost. This was when I then saw a mans pair of trousers with a zip running along the inside of the thigh, along over to the other leg running along the thigh, opening, and lovely little puppies running out. (I found this a little embarrassing at the time so didn't go into exact detail about it )but it got my attention, maybe I'm just overly feminine and shy but possibly a more male personality would not be as sensitive to showing this scene to get the message across, as it seemed to be suggesting the link of ' Family' to people lost which I later thought retrievals may be cropping up at a later date.

4) only recently ( 25 sept, page 34) a dream where I entered a classroom and met with the teacher but had picked up in the corridor that there was a big test coming up followed by a written test.
Followed by a dream where I'm sneaking into a class room pinching files to find out about who I've been , about myself.

So , Kurt writes of his ' instructor ' advising him of anomalies set up within a dream for him to work out that something wasn't how it should be and then he was expected to look for or to create a window or door to project through into astral.
Even though this wasn't a dream I've had similar before where I was taken to a canteen full of people but then I was taken to the massive window where we were suddenly through it and this was a different busy fun enviroment. I believed at the time to be astral.

For Consideration.
I believe that maybe I was taken to the warehouse enviroment and the women didn't acknowledge mebecause they weren't meant to. I was to work out the connection and relevance to the papers and filing cabinet and the recent dream where I was pinching papers from a file in a room which had information about who I had been, about me. It even had a photo in.
When I found an exit that would take me into Astral ( which I did by flying out the entrance) I should then work out the connection of the girl.
This is where I think it could have been a retrieval and the father figure wasn't alarmed at me holding her hand because maybe this was someone helping( not even going to try going there with just who.) plenty of descriptions printed of guides / spirits working in the after life taking on the disguise of a relative to help the situation. ( who knows , maybe on a couple of years I will decide it was me as well but not just yet.)
Maybe this was one of the lost puppies being retrieved.
Maybe this was the big test and this analysis was the written test.
Well makes a good story anyway.

Next must be to work out the beginning of OBE in the dark and the figures


As an add on just for the record have just read Kurt's online records on his website and an alternative I didn't think of was that possibly they couldn't see me because I was in the mental body within the astral.
I will keep this on the back burner but I don't think so. The little girl was holding my hand

[susan]

Early am another OBE but I believe this was neither an astral plane where spirits reside nor the Real Time Zone but I think was set up for my consideration.
This has been the most profound experience to date and have re lived the scene over and over in my mind all day.
All tiredness gone and last couple of days working on NEWS and brow area.
The other night I had a short exit where I got as far as the wall behind my bed but everything was so slow and I felt resistance so it ended abruptly.
Early morning was sending out thoughts. I felt a little lost. Where do I want to project to ? What more can I be doing in physical? Have a worthwhile job through the day giving out a lot of care and attention to people. Have given up all forms of meat. I'm being creative in the garden, painting doors inside, which gives me a lot of satisfaction but something is missing and I don't know what it is. I needed another goal to work on.

OBE.
Little NEWS , silenced mind but kept circling feet as long as I could .looked into brow just hoped to see something, anything, just something. Very soon I'm raising very slowly and now backwards.i tried to shoot up fast this time but again I had no control over the direction or speed. I could once again feel a strange kind of light resistance as I was going through the wall. Even the blackness got blacker just for a couple of seconds. Now I'm moving in a straight line but it felt I was facing forwards and from a greyish colour I now have sight. I'm moving forwards seeing a train track below and now Im sitting on a train looking out the window. This was great. What was I going to see?
The train slows down and I see small groups of people sitting on the ground along the track. The train pulls to a stop. This is the station but there was no building. Just people sitting. Without thinking I just rolled out of the window. ( I love it, how cool is that just rolling out of the window, Even 007 couldn't have done that)
I have never visited India but it came to mind. A long line of men and women in colourful clothes just sitting on their bottoms with their knees up and feet flat on the ground. Women had their heads covered but not face. There was a serene silence, almost acceptance coming from these people. As I passed the long line of people the area was full of all ages all dressed the same. Poverty was everywhere.in the distance was the waters edge like a shore line or edge of a long river. As I go over groups of children were milling around with adults. There were two very old looking trucks amongst the people that had an oblong sign stuck to the front. I tried to read the writing but it wasn't in English , in fact it could have been in Indian. The trucks had the same notice and it was written in blue and red. I got a feeling these could have either been a sort of ambulance or relief aid trucks.
As I go towards the water a young boy sees me and says " Good afternoon" in a broken accent.
This next bit was so so sad to look at.
Horses/ donkeys were walking the waters edge with their heads down and their owners at the side of them . I then saw more but their bodies were half in the sand/ soil, as they walked with their heads under the water. Were they searching for crabs under the sand ??
Men were half submerged in the water, just walking. Some men were on the backs of their horses hanging off submerging themselves under the water. This was extreme poverty but I don't know if they were searching for some kind of food under the water.this carried along the whole of the shore line.
Woke up instantly. I don't know why but I thanked myself ?? Which ever part of me was responsible for showing me this. I felt and still feel very humble to have had this experience.
Thoughts.
Firstly, I cannot believe that any poverty stricken people would reside in an astral realm such as that. Just 100% not.
The boy spoke to me, but he was the only one to acknowledge me. I don't believe this was Real time Zone and to be honest I have never witnessed anything as bad as this even on telly covering poverty stricken places.
So I think this was for my consideration.
Well it's too late in life to turn into another Gandhi or Sister Theresa. I cannt help the poor in this life. I'm too old to pack my bags and become a relief worker.I do my best as already described through the day. So what I will take from this is to be grateful for everything I already have. To stop wanting what I don't need. To try to be more content. As I was reminded a few months ago with the little white purse.... Treasures are found within....
I may have missed the point here completely but I was taken there for a reason and just walking amongst these people made me feel very humble as if they accepted their situation in life.
ACCEPTANCE.

[susan]

Just a dream but need to record for learning purpose.
Reading on another forum got very excited at the thought of helping in astral rather than just hoping for something eventful and exciting. Even if it's my made up imagination let's try to do a service whilst sleeping .... So just go with this.
Tried to stay awake round 4.30 but fell asleep.
Dreamt I'd missed the train. ( knew I had fallen asleep and missed the opportunity to experience )
I'm in a bedroom I know and am looking through a small window and there s a complete different scene outside which is like green hills and I know this is the way to astral. Next thing I'm through the window and on the back of a pink toy elephant. The elephant is so happy to be helping me and shows so much love and protection towards me . It is so happy to be helping me and to be with me the trunk keeps comforting me to let me know it is protecting me and taking me home .
Thoughts.
So going to sleep wanting to do a service may have given me a higher dream.
So I will record this as a dream, because that is what it was.
The pink elephant reminds me of the card I was given a while back of a child's card with an elephant drawn and filled in with pink.
( an elephant has a long memory and I see pink as either love or female
Just need to add there s absolutely no comparison to OBEs described as such.)

[eyeoneblack]

Ask Karen six-five-nine yesterday: Are you staying in your body these days? She said she was 'staying put' living in the physical, that her focus now was 'inward'. There is a bit of a difference.

[susan]

VHi Richard. Is this the Karen who used to post on this site a few years ago?
I'm not sure if your meaning the intuitive side during the awake stage and our own analysis of our waking life or something different.

Having read again my last post about the dream I realise that I was wrong to dismiss this as just a dream. Considering this is how many get into astral then this was very wrong.I suppose I am reluctant to loose the experience of consciously leaving body because you know then what is going on as it happens. My failure is being able to become lucid in a dream and turn it into an experience. Not sure how this can be worked on .
Whenever reflecting I've often tried to think how I felt. Shadowy figures , feeling kindness, fondness, fun. I think I still have a long way to go on these senses but that pink elephant toy gave me so much happiness, joy,protection, love. This was even felt as I woke up.
Was shown my goal again this am. Woman with very long legs kicking a football high in the sky.
Also saw my front door being opened and the ground outside was covered with snow.

An after thought. If I am responsible for forming my own interpretation of an energy perceived by me then I formed the projection of a pink elephant because of the above described feelings it was giving off and stored somewhere forgotten in my mind is the relevance to being given the pink birthday card of the pink elephant. Maybe. I'm going with this for the moment.

[eyeoneblack]

I think you're getting it Susan. I can't explain why I've latched on to you - there is no apparent reason - but I respect your journey and expect the best from you. You may a great teacher one day. Nameste.

[susan]

Thank you Richard. You may not realise how much that has helped to hear.
Was feeling rather silly about the pink elephant episode. This is why I think it's imperative for anyone experiencing events to read from the experienced authors to be able to put a meaning to it. Otherwise we are likely to be described as living in cuckoo land.
So here goes.

My Spaceman / woman, is back and I've had quite a lot of advice this am.
Woke up 4.30 from nice dream to do with physical.
Dream.
I'm looking out of a window and my late father is in the garden. My sister has brought some spring flowers to plant. Dad is watching her plant them.I,m inside doing the decorating deciding that the curtains will stay. There nice.
Woke up. ( Yesterday I enjoyed pulling out the old and planted some daffodils and tulips. Also did some painting of the stairs and felt really good about what I had done that day. My dad had come to live with me for his last 6 months and my sister would come and stay ) so my dream was connected to physical events.
After that I never got back to sleep. Ever time I tried I would just get to that stage of loosing consciousness when it was like someone clicking their fingers to wake you up and I would feel as if my physical body jumped a little.

First time it happened I had been deciding not to try to get out and just go to sleep.
As it happened, heard the click and jumped. Thought " WHY NOT? " Saw a shadowy black and white scene of a big spaceman sitting in the back seat of a car and his helmet was all misted up. ( will add to this at end of post)
2nd, thought " MORE" saw a CD. ( my binaural beats and meditation is my interpretation)
". Seeds, milk, veg, pulses.( saw them all, healthy living)
". Saw a scene where people were laughing. ( more laughter)
Saw my multi vitamin be taken out of its packet. ( keep up with the extra supplements)
Now this is the interesting one.
Thought "SWAP" saw Kurt's Multidimensional Human. And saw a biscuit tin on a kitchen bench of a BUDDHA .
Then I seemed to hear this one. " Sorry for what I've put you through" .
What I take from this load is help on the nutritional advice and more meditation. The last two , I had been thinking of re-reading Kurts book but I think the suggestion is to spend more time on the advice given on how to live in physical. How to act and think. This last bit may be encouraging me to do my own life review whilst alive and work out times I may have got it wrong, and how I could have done it better. What impact my words or actions may have had to someone.
( I suppose doing our homework now before passing over may give us brownie points )

7.30 am and that's it but the Spaceman.?
This is the 4th time he has appeared.
1) Hopping along after I perceived the big energy balls where I formed thoughts as to how they wanted to be perceived and the fun in them . ( learning to use my senses)
2) Giant spaceman with the dentists drill. ( a big test on fear in astral)
3) space man closing vault like doors but left slightly open when I got inside this room with white statues inside that started to come to life when I entered. ( felt this was some kind of library to do with evolution of life and was just around time I was encouraged to stop eating meat)
4) Today. But he wasn't in the drivers seat, he was in the back. ( I've been feeling a bit now that it might be up to me to do the work more. So often I'm raising up whilst still very alert going somewhere.)

This spaceman has been helping me along the way.
Kurt writes of some people perceiving space men when in fact this is used as a shield due to the brightness of the spirit.
This would maybe explain another event a few weeks ago not recorded.
Had been sending out thoughts about why some people ..... Compared to ........
Dreamt of a plumpish woman talking to me, explaining things to me which made sense, but in the dream I cannot see her head. She has a kind of woolen rolled tube covering the whole of her face and head. Even in the dream I'm thinking why has she got that funny thing over her face. Why aren't I allowed to see her?
This could explain why.
Off to do some gardening.

[susan]

When I'm getting nothing I think this is a good time to do some reflection within the journal as to progress.
Something that got my attention was my vocabulary. It's been mostly saying nothing at all or " Hello" .
So since my last reflection ( page 27. 8/6/14) I've taken consciously induced OBEs to look for a pattern or improvement.


Simulation or not? did someone speak to me? Did I speak to someone.

27/8/14
Figure of a man in room Yes? Yes. No

5/9/14
After Death Zone. No? Yes. Yes

6/10/14
In the warehouse with filing cabinets. Yes. No. Yes

Then I entered astral,where the little girl was. No. Yes. Yes


15/10/14
The scene of such poverty. Yes. Yes. No

So the two times when I really believe this to have been an astral visit with a purpose there has been interaction between me and another person.
Possible simulations just seem to be only one of us saying something, but no conversation.
Plenty more possibilities recorded but only wanted to focus on the ones where I have been totally aware from start to end since last review.

Next Vibrational Senses.
Last time I thought they were starting to come into play. The big bouncing energy balls ( spaceman there helping)
Since then my trip to the After death zone where I think I interpreted what I was picking up such as seeing dad.
Then my pink elephant dream where I think I entered astral. I knew what this person was saying to me and I felt how this person was feeling towards me and the love, protection and happiness and my interpretation of what I was picking up .( pink elephant, only because there was a connection)
So, I think slight improvement there.

Communication senses.
I felt back then I was being informed that these were still being worked on. The garbled unintelligible message I got in my bathroom.
Since then the two important astral visits we have conversed.
I said hello to the guy in the lab coat and he replied.
I spoke to the young girl and she answered me.
So improvement there also.

What I need to be doing if there is a next time is to not only say hello but " hello , who are you?
We do so much talking in our recalls of dreams, even when feeling we have left dream zone and being mentored in astral but the above is different.