Nursing babies

[susan]

I need to add a reminder for myself at this point of the journal.
As clairaudience seems to be slowly progressing its natural to be wondering who is talking to me, advising me. I've written recently of sometimes funny, sometimes loving, sometimes the words are chosen carefully . Sometimes the words spoken were of quite an old fashioned language, words also I didn't know the meaning to, the time I picked up KINSHI. Japanese for to forbid, not allow. ( was deciding to do this concerning the wine whilst on holiday and drank a lot.)
The other day I picked up about leaving London during the plague.
So this is a reminder for me .

It's not always a higher self or teacher or guide.........

Robert Munroe describes in Ultimate Journey where he is communicating with and finding out about his other lives that have lead up to his then current life as Bob.
He describes his realisation as ' every beam of light was one of me, one of my I There personalities complete with a different life experience. ' He talks of communicating with them. They had their own personalities that spoke to him at that time and discovering the times they had shone through him to help in tasks required if they had the skills to help him.
So our past personalities aid us through our life, I suppose talking to us as well , in our sleep, thoughts in our waking life.
Just a reminder.

I've come back to add a thought.
Past personalities all having their own personalities separate from himself. But his higher self is made up I thought of all of these last lives.
So his higher self IS all these separate personalities.
Or is his higher self made up of his separate personality Bob plus the next life and the next?

[susan]

Thunder Birds are Back.
This morning just in that liminal stage when I saw the cockpit of a large white plane in the sky. I was viewing as if flying next to it. Something dark brown started to cover the cockpit from the outside. It slowly started to form until it had completely covered the top of the cockpit. As I'm slowly gaining lucidity a thought goes by me that it's a blanket, but then it slowly lifts off and seems to have strings attached. Then I think / hear the signature tune for Thunderbirds and picked up the phrase. " thunder birds are go".
As it rises it takes the form of a parachute and flies above the plain pulling a smaller plane that had been sitting on top of the big one. So this smaller pane is now in flight.
Awake now. This all happened within about 7-8 seconds. I could have laughed out loud. It was the tune that did it for me but I cannt get it out of my mind . Been to work today and every few seconds I'm thinking of this so have to record it. There was no recalled dream from this.
However an hour previously I'd woken from a good nights sleep with a few different dreams all in the one sleep.



( just lost everything else I wrote . Will fill in later)

I just need to finish this with what may have instigated this.
I've written recently that I miss consciously induced OBEs. Feel I'm being encouraged to silence mind, listen and look into brow but I miss the excitement of leaving.
Other day thinking about all of this I sent out a request for guidance. If I am developing clairaudience as well as clairyoyance how can I put this to good use to benefit others without it becoming an ego trip.
I deal every day with elderly people. Many have lost their partners. Many are fighting ill health and age and know they will be leaving here shortly. How wonderful if I could develop this ability during my working days and comfort some of these people with some words of reassurance. But I don't know . I read that we should look to use this ability to put it to good use. I just don't know.
That night I had a very strange dream that had me take notice of it.

I was asked by someone that was following me and watching me if I was .........'s sister. ( a male name) I said No sorry. He said, " but you are very spiritual aren't you?, please come to a prophetic meeting we are having" and he walks away. He got my attention because he started off very handsome and then changed to a funny character. ( this kind of change of character has happened before and got my attention)
Time will tell .dont want to raise my hopes by expecting something or I'll just be dissapointed.
Will post dreams that I had prior to the plane at a later date.

[susan]

Wonderful experience this morning.
Had not managed any energy work for 2 days as I felt exhausted ( which I think has something to do with not eating lunch at a reasonable time and carrying / lifting heavy work bag in and out of the car. I know energy work can cause fatigue but sometimes I just want to finish ASAP to get back home so I think my non eating was the cause)
Slept well
9.15 am
Still in bed deciding to try little energy work once again. Feet circling , little of chakras but not realy putting much effort into it.
As I've noted before I feel I don't want to loosen the body and raise up but feel I need to be concentrating more on brow and crown .
( with caution of course).Fell into a very light sleep but became lucid and was aware of a woman with strong lipstick on ( I like my lipstick, always wear it but certainly not as much as she had on) She is opening a door to let a young girl go through in front of her. There was someone else there as well. She says something about talking but I'm awake now and I've missed it. I was annoyed with myself for missing what she had said because I thought it was important for me . Layed still hoping something would happen.

Very soon the noise in my head started up. No vibrations, no clocks ticking or hissing in the head, this was more pre- projection noise.
Next thing I'm raising up slowly. Something comes towards me moving sideways and for a second I had a feeling this was something to frighten me so as it got closer I just said " love you ,now go away ". ( it was the first thing I could think of.) it passed . No vision at this stage but I could feel myself travelling. I knew I'd projected my consciousness . Had no sense of body at all this time . No sight but sensed going down and down realy fast. For a second it reminded me of the time I plummeted underground.now I'm travelling sideways and vision sets in. This was worth the trip.

Travelling sideways it gets lighter and lighter and spaced out are a lot of trees just floating there in a white sky, but there was no brown trunk or green leaves, just white, beautiful . Each branch had pinky/ white blossom? cotton? At the ends.
The thing is there were bubbles in front of me as if this was under water. I was moving sideways weaving between them when everything cleared and I'm now looking at a field full of hundreds of white trees lined up in rows as if planted in the sky once again at the end of each branch a fluffy pinky/ white piece of cotton. ( if you could visualise drawing a tree and covering the whole top of the tree with as many round pieces of cotton wool you could fit on.) And still this was viewing as if under water with very fine bubbles in front if me. Beautiful.
Ended abruptly.

Thoughts.
I projected the way I wanted to.
I've had the 2 babies in the tank before where Richard suggested water signifying the Astral.
I don't know if this was just a projection to experience with no other meaning, but these experiences are few and far between so I feel I should be taking more from this . The field of trees?
If any one has any thoughts here please feel free to comment .Need a bit of help on this one.

Edit.
Just come back with a thought, Tree of Life?
I have to think more on this . I had been wondering about developing more for the benefit of my elderly clients.
A dream invited me to a prophetic meeting.
Thunderbirds are go. They go on rescue missions.
The blossom on the tree results in fruit. There was a lot if it. Fruit is a reward.
Maybe this is just acknowledging " YES DO IT"
Edit.
I'm back. I think the thunderbirds scene was a hint at my forth coming projection. I often have a hint at an event but not always.

[susan]

I want to practice and develop the Clair's more utilising my day times instead of just energy work and attempted meditation in evening.
Handy for me to monitor any progress.

Day 1)
Able to see auras of different fruit.
Orange
Fig
Peach
Lemon

My Aura. ( only seeing etheric aura )
Head.........could only see 1 colour just now. Pale blue, extending upwards sometimes about 12-18 inches. Notice that most of the time it's the right side I'm seeing most of but the left does appear.
Fingers...., pale blue again, the tips are extending about 2 inches, can see all around individual fingers and whole hand.
Hope to see more colours as time goes on but just to note.
Was shellacking finger nails this pm. 2 fingers only in dryer. Mobile phone in other hand to ear. Had just heard some bad news that was unexpected. Sudden bang and my dryer blew up followed by burning smell . Broken! Had to de- shellack nails. Do I realy want to increase all this energy in body? I'm sure I had something to do with this. Too much of a co- incidence.

[susan]

Well this could be just a co-incidence/ one off, but I've just spent 30 mins NEWS , 30 mins meditation, little aura practice and just decided to get I pad out and asked for guidance here. Should I be concentrating on anything else as well.
Closed eyes and this is what came.

Bible. Jkgtr.
Bible had a full stop after it then a space. Think the rest is just rubbish.

[susan]

This morning dozing lightly in that liminal stage when woke to singing from a male voice choir singing very gently, quietly and slowly. Then two knocks as if a knock on the door. Awake.( was so calming and peaceful to listen to)

[susan]

2.38 am woke up to hearing....." Then you were a government minister in G?J? but you failed to .."
Lost the rest as I was wide awake now. This was a male voice, quite matter of fact way of speaking.No dream recalled from this.
Extreme tiredness from work so no meditation or energy work done. Just went to bed to have much needed rest.
So we are given information about ourselves during sleep, stored in the subconscious I suppose to be remembered when we leave our physical body.
Would love to know once again what was said in what I interpreted as a space station in that white room where I was taken during an OBE then felt I was waiting for someone to come to talk with me. It just stopped suddenly.( not to my benefit to know any more whilst still in physical maybe.)

[susan]

Flying dreams this morning but a bit of difficulty recalling. I think these were two separate dreams. Key points I remember.

Flying into a class room. I'm late. They've changed the room.This isn't my class . I have to be re directed to the class room. I've lost my handbag.Ive arrived. I'm not prepared. I haven't brought any paper and pen.

2nd dream.
I'm flying high in the sky. I'm so high up and there's a lot of smog down below causing traffic chaos. I'm flying high in circles away from it all till I see the entrance to the class room. I zoom down through the entrance, along a corridor into the classroom which is not like my old classroom. This has chairs with tables in front of them forming a semi circle and the guest speaker will sit in front.
I go to sit on a chair but someone has put their handbag on it. I go to sit at the end where there is a chair but a man is standing in front of me. The guest speaker arrives feeling very humble wondering why she is here in front of us. She finds faults with herself but I look at her thinking how lovely she is . We all clap. The man in front of me is the famous footballer .He is the father of the woman.
I wake up.

Points.

I think I've missed a lot out here but feel sure the two dreams were a continuation.
It isn't often I have dreams where I'm flying.
Class room involved.
The famous footballer and his parents were brought up in the town I live in.
There is so much here that is connected to my daytime thoughts.
1) have just attended a speed awareness class because of my speeding. We saw a horrific pile up of vehicles on a motor way due to heavy fog.
2) I feel a little lost and a failure that I cannt just project at will when I want and have to wait for the time spirit seem to want to show me something. Frustrated.
3) I had been recalling prior to the dream the time I suddenly found myself inside a book in the picture and I was kicking a football high into the sky. ( at the time I felt strongly that this was my goal, to be more proficient at getting out, whichever way)
4) I miss my wine but feel for the sacrifices I'm making I'm not sure it's worth it.
5) I felt a failure last night simply because I wanted some wine. Poured some out for my visiting son. Had my ginger beer.
6) just wondering just now if it's realy worth the sacrifices.

Aura practices coming on well, but these exercises are all seeing the matching colour to circles of colour or coloured petals. I enjoy seeing three aura colours and stretching them to the left with the eyes till they merge.
When I attended development classes a couple of years ago the first time we practiced seeing someone's aura I saw bright yellow around someone's head. I got so excited. But nothing like that just now. I can only assume this was something to do with all the energy in the room.
Downloaded an e book by Sanaya Roman on channeling. Good book.
Not sure if I'm on a bit if a downer at moment . Maybe I'm trying to learn too much, too soon, too fast.

[susan]

My last post had me at a bit of a doubting period again . Wondering if giving up my pleasures was realy worth it.
Keyed in some key words hoping to find confirmation that it was.
This brought me to a discussion 5 years ago on this site on the topic of Kundalini and spiritualy evolving, written by
AUNT CLAIR.
She writes,
Once a human enters a metaphysical path to have a " whatever happens, happens, come ci come ca" does not make sense. It is like giving up or " sour grapes".
It is the purpose of life and why would one that is aware ignore this?
To grow physically requires no thought or effort but to grow magically, metaphysically and spiritually requires much effort.
It will not occur without discipline and dedication.
........do not accept complacency and give up.....
.....none of us are nothing. None of us are without a legacy of spirituality. If you reach into your soul and connect with your Monad, you will find that you had unlimited potential.
The spiritual evolution that has been affected by Kundalini has caused humanity to slowly raise its consciousness to fly universally, to hear and see the eternal teaching spirits.to think globally and to feel with greater compassion.
One can contemplate, but without Clairvoyance, Clairaudience and Projection, the magician can not access the divine curriculum and attain Union
Aunt Claire writes some seriously good stuff and this has been just what I needed to read.
She has given me motivation back.
Outcomes the lemon and ginger herbal tea......fruits....green veg....aura practice this afternoon.
No doubt I will have my relapses again. It's going to happen but keeping this writing above to look at may help me.


Dream last night.
First dream had me going into a doctors surgery to collect two elderly people. The doctors were going home but they had ignored the two elderly patients. I was angry they had been ignored but the doctors said they could go. Their blood results were okay. I insisted they talked with them to give them the results. We are all walking into a treatment room where one of the rooms is a toilet. One of the male doctors decides to pop in to use the toilet and doesn't properly close the door. We ignore this. Female doctor has a big white tablet she gives the lady and says your blood is fine but we should explain why you have to take this .
End of dream. Back to sleep .
2nd dream
I'm in a building I don't recognise. There is a fire ( don't see it just know there is one) Others go immediately to attend to the elderly to help them. They expect me to come with them but I say NO.
Instead I go to the fire alarm on the wall and raise the alarm. I thought this was the proper thing to do.
End of dream.

Thoughts.
Well the first one easily fits in with how I was feeling about everything. ( bought some extra B supplements yesterday for my tiredness.) thought it could be lack of iron due to not eating meat but pharmacist suggested could be thyroid, not necesseraly iron as I take a daily multi everything supplement . Health food shop suggested this.

The second was about following the correct rules/ procedure.

A few months ago working in a care home I was wheeling someone back to the day room when the fire alarm went off. All the staff dissapeared which meant I was left with all the residents in the room. There was a hot kettle of tea on the trolley.
Buttered scones waiting to be given out. Two elderly ladies starting to get angry with each other. One lady near the hot kettle helping herself to the scones and putting one down her front for later. Ladies getting up from their chairs looking very unstable on their feet. Good Samaritan Susan stayed and helped until the staff came back. This had been a false alarm. I was informed I should have vacated the building when the alarm went off as this was the required procedure. When I suggested the possible implications of leaving these residents alone I was told that unfortunately we would have to take the risk and she explained the reasons why.
These were the rules.

So to sum up I suppose I don't always understand why but if I want to develop in the way I wish then sacrifices have to be
made as it doesn't come easy.
Of course the choice is mine but I Shall drink wine on holiday in August. KINSHI will not apply for those 10 days only.

[susan]

Only recording this for future reference.
Feeling very spaced out today. Free day from 12. Could have done so much in the garden but all I can do is look at it. No motivation. Walking up high street, passing people just looking at them so engrossed in their daily life. I should be full of life and painting the new fence, painting the kitchen chairs, propping up the strawberries with straw, re- potting the broad beans. Every thing I love doing that gives me so much pleasure and keeps me grounded.Walked into a pet shop and watched birds interacting with each other in their large cages, singing. For a second I thought it would be nice to have one. Wrong. Why on earth would I want to take a bird away from its friends and put it in a smaller cage to be alone and still where it could only fly for a second?
This am soon as I woke up I thought " come with love in your heart", and " bye from the non seeing world".