02/Dec/2011: Sleep Paralysis & Heart Chakra Visualisation
02/Dec/2011
Sleep Paralysis & Heart Chakra Visualisation
This was my second night when I took Galantamine/Choline before sleep. It has definitely an effect. You get lucid at least one time per night it seems. I tried it 2 times now, so I have - by now - a 100% success rate. However, the experience is different for me. I have an even greater problem with control then. I learnt that being lucid does by far not yet mean that you are 100% in control of the situation(s) arising. :?
My first night's attempt (about 3-4 days ago) was what I would call a 'rollercoaster ride'. There was a rapid succession of several scenes I phased into for about what felt a minute because I never could hold on to them for too long. And one time, after I decided it was enough, I even wanted to get back to body ("wake up") by counting down from 3 - but it did not work, so I was 'trapped' in the non-physical (not that I bothered too much, though, I never felt fear).
So there were many different scenes then, and also in-between the hands again drawing me upwards through the velvety dark (so many projectors talk about) as I asked a guide to be taken to higher levels.
One such 'high' level (literally!) was a nice one with me sitting at daylight in almost meditation style on a huge, white tree with wide branches, high above the ground, in a reality that consisted of a wide forest of kind of jungle. The branches were interconnected with other trees, thereby forming lanes. The whole thing might remind one of the Tree cities of some species in Hollywood fantasy or sciene-fiction movies, such as Star Wars' Ewoks or the blue people in Avatar. Along the trees' trunks and brunches was an intricate system of water irrigation, little water streamlets flowing down from the trees and along the branches, too. Sometimes the water was collected in little puddles on the branches' little dents. I remember I put my hand in one of the little puddles nearby and kind of baptized me with the water in a kind of ritual. Don't ask me why I did that. I was lucid the whole time, but my subbie was probably doing it. Maybe it was because it all (including myself) felt so 'holy' there.
The second night: Again, it was another "different" experience. For the first time I experienced sleep paralysis consciously while getting lucid (not "awake" necessarily). I now understand why SP is a "creepy" thing (as double entendre) for many people experiencing it, especially if it's involuntarily. It really 'crept' over me. Like a different entity taking possession of me, it started from the trunk and then went to the extremities' distal parts. No seriously, I really felt it 'creeping'. Then there was split-body effects again: the paralysis of the physical body while lying in bed, and also partially ability to 'move' what I assume was one of my energy bodies. Sometimes I even felt my limbs in this partially paralysed state, like those injections you get at the dentist and then it slowly wakes up again. As said, I was lying there and could not exit. Unlike many others who suffer from SP, however, I did not at any point see my physical bedroom. Rather, I was either phased into a scene playing out dream-like before me or had some 'hypnagogics'. Actually one time I overcame the paralysis and 'phased' into the night sky of a city and flew over it. But it took only a little while and I was 'back in bed' feeling paralysed again.
Then I did one surprising thing (to myself!) which brought about the following experience. I was not really scared, it seems I am beyond fear now. Nevertheless, I felt of course 'not comfortable' in this situation and I did not want to feel like a potential victim, so maybe I did this as a kind of precautionary defence (or as a kind of 'whistling-in-the-dark') measure: I started SINGING. :redface:
It was a harmless self made-up tune, sung with my "inner" voice, not with my physical mouth or vocal chords (of this I am sure). And I just sang it in "La-La-la". Sometimes I added instruments to it. Sometimes I just sang again. I remembed the tune after waking up, but did not later. But I can say that it wasn't exactly quite like a masterpiece after all, so never mind ;).
Exactly from the moment I started singing, something 'opened' in my visual field. And it looked like a galaxy of green pixels with its core in the middle dark and bright and thinning out and darkening to the edges. It might also have had a spin. IIRC it was from left to right - clockwise. Everything was green and at the core almost glowing in a shiny intense white, but still green-ish.
It lasted as long as I was singing. Maybe I got bored and was a bit fed up with being paralised and not being able to really get started with an exit and lucidventure. So I aborted it by saying to myself 'this is stupid' which indeed woke me up as I could then also roll my physical body again on the back and opened my physical eyes.
I took one of the many pics on the internet of rotating galaxies and edited it a bit on a graphics program. This one I came up with as the closest thing resembling what I saw all the time (and could have seen longer if I had wanted to). Just imagine it rotating clockwise and partially at times being a bit more pixellated.
http://www.bilder-hochladen.net/files/8si5-19-f717.jpg
Comments / Afterthoughts
Not when I had this experience, but soon after I 'woke up' I felt reminded of the Heart Chakra pictures. This is, of course, only an assumption.
http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:A...YfDgf7nUMxmONQ
If it was, what was its cause? My self-protection purpose? The singing? The syllable "la"?
Maybe the Heart chakra relates most to music and the arts and that's why it 'came on'?
Maybe it is even more specific. I found on the internet that the chakras can be related to the 7 main notes on the musical (Western!) scale: CDEFGAB.
http://www.soundessence.net/chakras.php#Heart
The fourth (middle) sound is F and it relates to the fourth (middle) chakra. So maybe, just maybe, it is because I probably (without knowing, of course, since I have no musical ear) sang it in the key 'F'. Had I sung it in key 'E' I would have seen a yellow galaxy spinning round in my eyes?
:cool::wacky1:
I also tried to find about about any kind of "la"-Mantra, but so far did not find to much information.
http://www.samaelgnosis.us/practice/...ces/la_ra.html
http://dream-yoga.org/dream-yoga-tec...e-mantra-la-ra
If s.o. here reads this who knows more if not a lot about chakras and seeing them as spinning wheels or galaxies in the non-physical and what it all could mean, I'd be grateful for any comments.
@Korpo: I know that Kurt knows a lot about the chakras and is also into music & spirituality as one of his books shows me. I do not have it but it seems from the contents that he also makes connections to the chakras ("expression"??). Your interesting comments in the Tool thread prove to me that you surlely have read it. I remember you told us you were in contact with him and could you ask him about it? I don't think he is still on this board. I would appreciate his knowledge as to my experience here. Of course, I am also looking forward with anticipation to your own take on it.
:-)
Re: 02/Dec/2011: Sleep Paralysis & Heart Chakra Visualisation
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Volgerle
Not when I had this experience, but soon after I 'woke up' I felt reminded of the Heart Chakra pictures.
This was also my first thought when I read about this experience ;)
I am not sure if activating the heart chakra may be a protective mean… But it may be that you are currently working on balancing this chakra, and that you intuitively knew how to `bring it forward` and tune it up by using the F key connected with it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Volgerle
Maybe the Heart chakra relates most to music and the arts and that's why it 'came on'?
I believe the whole body - all the chakras - and perhaps even all the energy bodies linked with each of them, respond to music (and art), but they respond to different musical stimulis, such as different types of songs, musical instruments and notes(accordingly to the different vibrations they `produce`).
I googled the topic a little and found interesting information here . The page is in French but it basically mentions the following correspondances :
From the first chakra (root) to the seventh (crown) …
Lower pitched and `heavier` sounds to higher pitched and `lightier` sounds
Faster and more rythmed music to slower and more meditative music
From percussions (root) to bells and aerial sounds -singing bowls? (brow and crown)
As for the fourth chakra, it would respond well to guitar, cello and violin (warm and balanced medium pitched sounds), and to the F key as you mentionned in your post…
That said, I am not Kurt Leland and have been working with music more intuitively than really consciously, so maybe someone else could add more on the topic…;)
By the way, I really love the metaphor of the holy forest with interconnected trees… As if each tree was a distinct consciousness and all of these distinct consciousnesses were linked with one another in a network pictured as the forest. And your `holy water` irrigation system reminds me of the Source … It’s a beautiful analogy...
16/Dec/2011: Card Validation Test 1 - Missed But Close!
16/Dec/2011
Card Validation Test 1: Missed But Close!
This was/is an ongoing side project which was actually intended as a dream (programming) project. Anyway, it got mixed up with lucidventures, too. Some months ago, I had placed a card from a common skat deck face up on the high top of a wardrobe in my room. I intended to 'dream up' the face of the card. In 2009, I also had tried to do card validations by projections but it mostly failed due to fluctuating cards.
Now, a little later after resuming the tests and placing a card, on 22 September of this year, I had a dream where I was playing cards with a friend of mine and the card being played out was as I remember it a King Of Spades. I already had the "intuition" before this dream that the card 'must be' a kind of person card (Queen, Jack or King). I did not yet make the check because I wanted to have more data accumulating.
On another projection a few days ago, I remembered the wardrobe and went to it. Before that I saw a Mickey Mouse figure (pretty large one!) in my room - but I have none in my physical room. I saw a lot of stuff on the wardrobe during this projection but did not detect a card.
Tonight, I was a bit more lucid in my dream, although only partially (probably with what I call Purpose-Focussed Lucidity = though in dream state, the subconscious can have a partial awareness of the waking consciousness' goals and acts according to them), when I was in my room and so I flew to the wardrobe again (flying shows to me that it was not a false awakening). I saw a card but not on the place where it should be lying, it rather was standing upright being leant against the wall: It was the King Of Spades again.
After getting up, I knew I had this a second time now and so I finally checked in the physical: I missed it, it was the Jack Of Spades.
Comments / Afterthoughts
It's a near-miss shot if you ask me. I can, of course, not call this a success in validation. Still, the King Of Spades for the Jack Of Spades intrigues me. They have the same colour (Spades) and both feature a male person. They are to each other indeed the nearest possible cards in likeness. Compare:
http://www.skatkurs.de/tpl/karten/pik_bube.png http://www.skatkurs.de/tpl/karten/pik_koenig.png
Maybe the leaning to the wall "next to" the place where the actual card should have been lying was an indication of its "(only) immediate nearness"? I admit this is mere conjecture.
(Even more conjecture now: Micky Mouse's head with the black round oversized ears might resemble the Spades of a card when turned around, too? However, I also have other interpretations for Mickey as he comes up in a lot of dreams and projections for me. Dreammoods gives me this: "To see Mickey Mouse in your dream signifies the magic and joy of childhood. It is time to go back to a period where you can be more carefree." As my momentary situation is not really careFREE, it almost makes sense.)
Anyway, I will keep up with the card tests, doing them once in a while, as this seems promising to me.
20/Dec/2011: The Exit Blindness Healing Hand
20/Dec/2011
The Exit Blindness Healing Hand / Left Temple Vision Activation
Just a short one concentrating on one element I (might have) learnt, as most of yesterday's lucidventure was too inconclusive for me. I got out with helper's hands holding me on each side, this time I felt not only one hand but being grabbed at my arms with two hands on each side. So there were at least 2 helpers. I had exit blindness which I have often. I tried a lot with affirmations, but nothing worked.
Then a hand (by a third helper?) was pressed slightly what felt like with 2-3 fingers against my left temple (front side). Then, finally, there was a light spot in the middle and it expanded to the edges, so my vision came on. I saw the lighted room of what is my 'Portal 1'. Then flew (still with helpers holding me) out of the window for other experiences.
Comments / Afterthoughts
I need to check on future 'blind exits' if this is a technique I was 'taught' this way and if it then indeed works for me if I put 'my own (astral) hand' on my (left) front side.
Question: Does the left temple have any special mystic / energetic / chakra function? Is it possible to activate astral sight / the pineal gland by working on it?
17+18/Jan/2012: Heal One. Heal The World.
17+18/Jan/2012 - Heal One. Heal The World.
17/Jan/2012
Green Eyes And Six Fingers
A longer lucidventure actually, of which I've only taken out the essential aspects. But most of it I was flying around trying things that did not work, as usual.
At one moment, I was in a bathroom and looked into the mirror, since I was searching a mirror before as this is my past life viewing method (so far not pretty successful though). I saw a younger image of myself with green light shining out of the eyes. There was also the same green light shining in a form of a circle with some concentric rings from the middle of my breast. The concentric rings might also have represented the Q-Link pendant (or another one in donut form of which I possess quite a few now).
I also met (outside in the garden) the bald-headed guy again whom I knew from another lucidventure which had to do with people from a more 'evolved cycle'. While talking to him and trying to decipher a name badge on his shirt, which was difficult as letters were getting jumbled all the time, but what I saw was definitely the letters: E,K,L and B. I shuffled them all the time and then came up with "Elke" which is a German female first name and said to him (as he was recognisably a male) 'I'm sorry, I will stop joking around with that name badge now.' Then I looked at my hands, which I use as a deepening method sometimes (see my posts on the discovery), and saw six fingers. I counted, re-counted and re-re-counted. There was none of the usual fluctuation. It remained six on each hand every time!
18/Jan/2012
Healer In Oxford
On this night, I had several exits with slight vibrations each time. Some were also false awakenings. Often I had exit blindness.
Once I was in the portal but not sure if I am in the physical and so went instead inside to check. Then I became sure and went out of another window then taking with me a shining red tulip. I was flying over the city and trying to find a beautiful woman to give the tulip to. I saw a pedestrian zone but I might not have found a girl and found myself instead in the astral bed again with another round of vibrations and exit into blindness.
Blind, I tried several commands where to get to (e.g. Higher Self, library, past life) but nothing worked. Then it occurred to me to say "healing". Suddenly I was in my old students' hall room in Oxford / England. I passed a term abroad there in the mid-90ies. A fellow student enters the room and asks me if I can give him a massage as he has pain at the back (upper neck area). I immediately say 'of course' (forgetting about this being a projection, it was more of a false awakening or dream state again). I give him a massage of his back saying that I am not really a pro massager and I try to do my best. He says it's okay the way I'm doing it and thanks me. After normal massage, I do some final karate chops on his back and then wake up (in physical bed) with the "motto" that came to me just out of nowhere: "Heal One. Heal The World".
Comments / Afterthoughts
First I interpreted the green eyes and rings on the breast as an advice to activate my Heart Chakra for overcoming exit blindness. While this might still be a valuable method to try there might be more to it: Healing. Also I suspect that my vision of the Heart Chakra several weeks ago might have to do with developing healing capacity. So now I saw it in the Astral on myself again, but a smaller version. The Q-Link form or association might mean two things: It can also mean healing (as it is for health protection mainly) but also for frequency and vibration (adjustment?). Maybe it is both.
The baldy guy might be an aspect or future self of mine (he resembles me a bit, I also have 'short' haircut). Maybe he is showing me the evolutionary path I can take again since I had (in his presence) six fingers instead of five. A similar notion was given to me by his comment (see link) as to my lesser evolved status for the time being (belonging to the "first cycle").
By the way, the then "soon-to-be killed male country leader" announced to me back then in June 2011 could have been Col. Gaddafi, who was indeed more or less 'executed' by that wild rebel group in October 2011. However, his name is not really Spanish. The name given to me on the paper was something with M at the beginning of the word, also with the darker vowels (a,o,u,) dominant, sth like Maria, Mario or Martinez, and it was probably a first name. Hence Gaddafi whose long name is "Muammar Muhammad Abu Minyar Gaddafi" (which of course I did not know then and only looked up now) might be at least a little close to it? The head I saw in a short flash then (not mentioned in the post) was also a dark-haired male person with a wider face. Anyway, nothing proven, it all remains inconclusive.
As regards the scene about the search for the lady of my "heart", I like the tulip interpretation from Dream Moods: "To see tulips in your dream indicate fresh new beginnings. You are loving life! Tulips are also symbolic of faith, charity, hope, perfection, idealistic love and fertility. Consider the pun "two lips". Perhaps it is hinting to a kiss?"
:kiss:
The Oxford episode is sth very special again. For many many years now, maybe 10 or more, I have a recurring dream motif that is always similar: I am in Oxford again, not back in time as student again, but later as a tourist. Anyway, I always logde again in my old room in that student hall. Often I do sightseeing then and watch the places again I remembered from before. However, I always try to get to the city center but somehow never manage to and "must" stay on the outskirts (where the hall is also located). It really is a recurring theme. One time (last October according to my journal) I also had a healing dream there but I was the patient then when a doctor came to heal me because a bug in my bed had stung me in the hand. But I had many similar dreams in variation of the same Oxford return motif.
My interpretation is that the motif might stand for a craving to 'get somewhere I had already been to'. I manage to get to or near it but not entirely to the core (here: city centre). I interpreted it myself to be an expression of the craving to "go home" to the spirit world, but I cannot be sure about this. So it's been now used in the context of healing, and like the 'green' dream above it seems to give me some nudges in the direction of becoming a(n astral?) healer, with the learning aspect also underlined by the university / student dorm motif?
I suppose the scene was just a 'simulation' created for me by my HS or any helpers. It might be a help for me (taking C. Tart's notion of 'state-specific memory' into account) to more often recall this set 'task' and try it out in the astral (regarding healing of others and self-healing). A problem for me with lucidity is that despite being partially lucid I often have to struggle remembering my primary goals, which are only a few - and still I forget them. But I am working on it (also in the physical by affirmation and visualisation) to 'burn' it into my 'astral' or 'mental' memory, too. It seems to work. Slowly, but it works.
Last not least, the 'motto' that came to me immediately after waking up, is probably a variant of that "save the cheerleader, save the world" slogan featured in the fantasy show "Heroes", which I watched a few times but actually never really liked. However, all the more I like my slogan and I might even make it the catch phrase of my (future) healing practice, should I ever have one:
HEAL ONE. HEAL THE WORLD.
http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:A...DZuErqxf55rxqf
28/Jan/2012: Ronald - 1. Retrieval
28/Jan/2012
Ronald - 1. Retrieval
I had the intention only to meditate in my 'astral portal' which is the upstairs childhood room in the home of my childhood. This lucidventure has two parts, both starting by a "controlled false awakening roll-out exit into a portal" which is somehow my standard method now.
PART 1 - The Retrieval:
When the chance came, I rolled out of bed and noticed I was in my lower childhood room then (I had moved as a child to and fro between these two rooms.). Almost in passing only, I noted a guy squatting and leaning against the wall, looking at me (expectantly or interested), but I ignored him as I do often with persons when I am too 'focussed on target'. However, I knew that he was a guy who was in the same school and neighbourhood as me when I was a child. I think I never knew his name, so let's call him Mr. X.
Anyway, I flew through the window and was standing in the garden on a sunny day. I asked to see a guide, but none appeared. Then I rememberd „retrieval“, so I closed my (astral) eyes to cause a blackout and in order to teleport to a scene where I can retrieve / help s.o. Funnily, I even counted down from 3 to zero. I 'opened' the eyes again. The scene was unchanged, still the garden on a sunny day. But one thing was changed:
Ronald (not real name) was standing there ca. 5 metres away from me on the lawn, a thinner version compared to the appearance I know, looking and maybe (iirc) even smiling at me.
Info: Ronald is a childhood/teenager buddy I had for a while in a kind of 'gang' of other buddies. Another one of them, by the way, was Johnny Smith (not real name). As with John, I hadn't seem him for over 15-20 years. Since I am (so far only per e-mail) in touch with John he told me about him.
Ronald, now as then, always lived in precarious circumstances, being a society outsider, obese, poor, living on social welfare and by occasional jobs. Today, so John told me, he lives on a private construction site in a construction trailer that was given mercifully to him by John's brother who owns the site, so he's (still) an (almost) derelict. John also told me recently that he lost weight (hence I saw a thinner version?) due to serious chronic illness(es), which I did not ask then more about.
His appearance on the lawn lasted only for about a moment as I immediately said "Okay", assuming that he is the one who needs help somehow. Then, instantly, the scene indeed changed and I was teleported into a familiar city centre street of my childhood hometown. Ronald was still there on the same sidewalk as me, and again about 5 metres off. This time, though, he looked different and more familiar to me: He was thicker now, but also looked sick, confused and even delirious. We saw and walked towards each other. I asked him what's wrong with him. He told me (in a babbling and uncontrolled way) that s.o. or sth disturbed him so much. He seemed sweaty and had glassy eyes, looked disturbed, distracted and delirious.
Remembering the known 'pattern of retrieval' and also knowing I might not have a lot of time before fading out again, I looked around immediately while I told him that I would show him s.o. who could help him really well. I held him at one of his arms (so he wouldn't fall over or run away) and started looking around at the people walking by.
I said to him that „the helper must be near-by“. Then I ask one guy passing us by directly: „It's you, right?“ The answer comes not directly, as he does not talk to me at all, but just by his action. The man joins us.
And here's the sensation: It's the guy that was squatting and leaning against the wall in my portal before. It's Mr X. !!! And yes, I remembered that he might also have been a friend or at least an acquaintance of Ronald back then in our childhood days!
So then we three were standing there. Mr X, was then holding on to Ronald by putting one arm around him and looking at him in a very reassuring, caring, even loving way (PUL?). This is remarkable and I believe that the memory of this moment and his treatment of poor Ronald might stick with me for good.
Mr X. then took Ronald with him as they walk up the street, I (following the retrieval pattern) let them go. Before that I again had patted Ronald a last time on the arm saying sth along the lines that he'll be fine, taken care of and should not worry. So I watched them walk off on that sidewalk of that familiar city center street (in the direction which is slightly uphill, btw.).
PART 2 - Thwarted Meditation:
I found myself in bed again, got up, looked around and noted that it was the lower portal still/again and a conscious false awakening. This time I was alone in the room. I had difficulties as I seemed to be held by a magnetic force tugging at my back drawing me back to bed (silver cord - attached at 3rd chakra from behind?). I fought myself free from it with force. The next obstacle was the curtains when I tried to fly through the window again. I got caught and entangled in them, but this was also overcome after a few seconds.
So then I was outside again in the garden in broad daylight. Then two little children, boy and girl, aged 4-6, are running past me, one shouts sth about chocolate and holds a huge bowel with chocolates in them, or one to be filled with chocolates in anticipation. I shouted after them to take care and not do sth foolish but otherwise again concentrate on 'my matters' and off they were again. I seemed to have lost some lucidity by now since it all got a bit more dream-like.
The next goal (and my original, see above) on my list was to meditate in my upstairs portal in order to stabilise it and so I tried to phase there, eyes closed counting down again - but to no avail. I tried to make the best of the inability to phase to the upper portal and settled for the garden lawn instead. I wanted to meditate there by sitting down, being calm and focussing on the garden. However, there was no place to sit down as suddenly the lawn was too steep and everywhere there was uneven ground, pits, pikes and weeds. It is just not comfortable enough to squat down in meditation pose (which I can only do in the astral anyway).
I then saw a green hill with trees on it next to our house that is not there in the physical, it reached up to the 2nd floor where the upper portal's window is. I also saw a police task force or military combat group roaming the area (garden). But it was somehow not threatening and I wasn't afraid or worried. Slowly I also got the feeling that I was losing time and more lucidity now, looked at my hands to stabilise myself again (counting 5 fingers indeed!) but it did not work and I faded out, making me wake up this time in the physical.
Comments / Afterthoughts
Wow!!! The first part is one of the best and most thought-provoking lucadventures so far. I had some 'dream retrieval' experiences before and I recently noted that one of my animal dreams might also reflect the 'pattern': little animals fleeing in distress from a big animal herd - searching shelter with me - me petting and reassuring them - me leading them out again when the danger has gone - me handing them over to a 'professional' caretaker.
However, in this case I do not (yet) think (neither do I hope!) that Ronald is really deceased. I will not check on this for ethical reasons, but John would tell me soon in his next e-mail if this 'really' had happened by now or recently. I will update here if this really should have happened, which then, of course would be a striking validation. But I don't need this! It being 'something different' does not take away anything from it for me. It was a wonderful experience nonetheless. And Ronald is definitely a person in need of help in any case.
So either it was a full-blown training simulation created for me or it was something in-between a training session and a 'real' helping situation, but maybe a bit different from what I experienced or remember. Of course, I can only speculate on this.
No doubt: Ronald is chronically ill. I think I also read about aspect retrievals of comatose and/or delirious patients. Isn't this also an element of shamanic healing practice? So possibly it was even a kind of healing 'in retrieval disguise', and this would make sense since I am also 'into healing' now.
Another possibility is that it was indeed was a retrieval of Ronald, but since time is sth different in the astral it might be a future related event (when he 'will have died'). Of course, this is a daring fringe theory now.
Another element also speaks against an all-out simulation for me. The moment when the helper looked at him with so much love is sth that cannot be 'just a fake'. It felt 'so real', this wasn't just a game scenario played out for me!
I am also still amazed about the helper's (Mr X) appearance in my portal first. I recognised him but would never have associated him with Ronald. This was a kind of announcement or sign for me of sth 'being staged or planned' before, but of course I could not 'read' this then but only in hindsight now. Moreover, I could never consciously have made this guy, Mr X., up from my memories. He was connected to Ronald, but in no way to me. It appears to have been a carefully operation planned in advance. I also remember my strange trip to the "Human Contact Zone" where these operations were planned and executed from, at least so I was told then. I did not manage to get back to there as yet.
Ronald's emaciated body shape is an information given to my by John. However, his current sick state was only shown to me in his appearance by which I knew him as a teenager. So this does not necessarily correlate with physical reality as "of now". Anyway, I also believe that since the thinner Ronald smiled at me, this might have been an image of him or a higher aspect of his soul, maybe already thanking me "in advance" for my help? It somehow feels this way for me. But who knows?
As regards Part 2, I have a loose interpretation of all the dreamy elements that popped up, but it even makes sense:
Maybe this was not the place and time to try a meditation. I already had a success with that retrieval (simulation or whatever) and I should have tried to just do sth different, even if only 'out of fun'? Therefore, maybe the little children were aspects of myself reminding me of this. Maybe the 'chocolates' also were meant to represent a kind of 'reward' for my retrieval success? The weedy garden not for sitting down on the ground and the soldiers roaming it may symbolise this to be a kind of 'astral combat zone', a place where the action takes place, but not for rest or even meditation. The green hill leading up to the 2nd floor to the window of my upstairs portal might indicate an elevated level I could/should have gotten to, either to meditate on the hill directly or to use it to enter my 2nd portal via the window?
Maybe, in general terms, the "up"stairs portal is meant to be for 'higher level' purpose (meditating, accessing Akasha, meeting the Higher Self, Angels, etc.) while exits from the "down"stairs (lower) portal mean some more basic 'astral' operations? This speculation makes also sense in view of other lucidventures I had when comparing these two childhood house portals.
Howsoever, this experience ranks now high in my top list. Together with the (mental plane?) Library visit and the validated Johnny Smith telepathy experience it is even among the top-3 highlights.
04/Feb/2012: Return Of The 'Lady In Red' (?)
04/Feb/2012
Return Of The 'Lady In Red' (?)
Reading R. McKnight's book 'Soul Journeys' and her described trip to the Akashic Hall Of Records to see her soul scrolls inspired me to try out my astral past life viewing method again. As I had seen "Lady In Red" (LiR) in a mirror two times already I demanded to see her again (in a mirror) and possibly speak to her, get essential data facts (name, date of birth, country/city) or experience sth out of her life directly.
I use a new affirmation that s.o. used in the Astral Pulse forum, "I am astral projecting now", and am nearly laughing as I say this (my "happiness method" I almost forgot about). I then get partial vibes, starting at the arms, then the body and roll out of bed. I am in another room of my childhood house (I should consider the whole house as a portal now, actually). First I have problems as magnetic forces are pulling me back but I can wiggle myself free.
I fly through the window and land down again (as last time) on the sunny garden, which is nice. Remembering my goal, I demand a mirror to manifest. But it does not work. A swarm of white butterflies comes flying in my direction instead.
Now it gets funny again: I turn around and look at the direction of our neighbour's house. From that upper floor's balcony downwards comes down with some 'astral machine noise' - attached to an automatic hydraulic swivelarm - a huge mirror to the ground and comes to rest on our terrace. It has a rectangular form and reminds me of a traffic mirror, just much bigger.
http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:A...Acl44hIoNHFscu
I approach it with the firm expectation to see Lady In Red now. I see a relatively beautiful girl in her 20ies (early to mid), but this time not in a red gown in 18th century or even medieval style, as I had seen LiR before. This girl is clothed in nowadays casual attire. She wears a blue jacket (better: a lady suit coat, but still casual wear) and a loose brown leisure shirt, possibly jeans. Her hair is arranged quite individually: combed back but still I see a lof of it (thick strands) on the sides, too. She looks neat and pretty, a type of girl I could imagine asking out for a date indeed. :wacky1::heart:
I take a closer look trying this time to imprint the looks of her face on my memory. She seems to be sun-tanned but is caucasian. She stands there (smiling slightly) and changing postures a little all the time. She acts as if she knows that she is being looked at and is 'posing' - but not too seriously, taking it with some kind of humour, like she is playfully pretending to be a pro model in a shooting? Although she does not behave like a 'real' model or so, it seems like she kows she is there to be looked at and her air conveys an expression of 'ok, so come and take your picture(s)', although she seems not to be 100% convenient with or accustomed to it, either.
As she is not my my mirror reflection and has her own personality this time (so the mirror is more like a screen now) I ask her what's her name. I do not get an answer, maybe she did not hear me, no reaction as to my request. I fail to get a conversation running. Moreover, I seem to be fading and it gets dream-like again. Before I fade, I see the mirrror compartmentalize, being split up into several panes, I also see children then in one of them.They seem to look at and recognise me though.
Comments / Afterthoughts
http://peoplesing.org/gathering/Smil.../megaphone.gif"Come on!! Higher Self, next time let me talk to her! I need data!!! Grrrr... :x "
06/Feb/2012: The "Indian" / Temple Vision Activation, Part Two
06/Feb/2012
The "Indian" / Temple Vision Activation, Part Two
I feel that something has been raised now within me. I had several exits from hypnopomp tonight, it's easier now. Seems I have better control of my half-sleep now to induce the vibrations, lucidity and then apply exit techniques.
After one of the exits, I was in our sunny garden again, looking for a mirror. There is a hectagonally shaped garden shed and one side of it (so it's 1/6 of the walls) was then (unlike in the physical) a complete mirror wall from top to bottom. So I looked at it and I saw a kind of "native" man. He looked native-american, or asian, or something in-between, maybe also oriental, hard to define for me, maybe an unknown race from long ago? He had long hair and a healthy brown tan. He looked at me. Before I could do sth it got dream-like again and I faded.
Later I was in the upper portal and one exit was when all was dark like in a b/w-movie. I did not discover the mirror which I had tried before to manifest there during my meditation visualisations. I tried to manifest it by command, but it did not work. There was a kind of poster hanging at the spot where the mirror should appear.
Later again I was out again there, but had exit blindness. But I 'felt' that I was in that same portal again. A helper holding me at one hand. After affirmations for vision did not work the helper again pressed a hand against my temple (this time the right one). Then the vision field opened again in the middle, it was like that chakra wheel spinning visualisation with the picture starting out in the middle and then extending to the edges. This time the glow in the middle had a red-orange or ligher violet colour (don't remember exactly). Unfortunately (and annoyingly!) I faded again before the visuals of the room (or whatever) came on.
Comments / Afterthoughts
The garden seems to have become a kind of playground that responds to some of my intentions now, which is good. Mirror manifestation seems to work there!
Mirror manifestation did however not (yet) work in the upper portal, at least not during that black/white version.
In my theory, there is a lower and a higher vibration version of it. I need to work to get to the higher vibratory version of it, which always had daylight, colour and most of the times (or on demand) the helpers visibly in it. Maybe the mirror will be there then. The exit blindness technique conveyed to me is a tool I should use and was taught before, but this time I unfortunately forgot it again, or it was just too late when I applied it. It is probably one of the access keys to experience the higher vibes version and see the helpers (and the mirror?).
As often before, when I finally gain sight in the upper portal and see the helpers I do it at the cost of lucidity or it does not last long enough then, probably due to my energy seemingly used up, my chakras not trained enough or whatever. So it seems to me that I need to work on being able to 'hold it' longer in the upper-frequency version - after gaining full sensory access in the first place, of course.
17/Feb/2012: Mirror "Healing" In The Lightportal
17/Feb/2012
Mirror "Healing" In The Lightportal
Tonight, I had two exits. I wanted to use my forced indirect projection method to "phase to the Lightportal on waking up", and doing so with joy. This seems to be still my most promising method for a 'quasi-controlled' exit. It seems I am then reliably and happily landing in the bed of my upper childhood room by this kind of "wilful false awakening from hypnopomp state" (maybe I should a get a patent for that method by now?)
The room is from now on called only "Lightportal" (Ger: Lichtportal) since I like the word, I use it in the affirmations and it also expresses my goal to finally overcome exit blindness, which I often experienced especially in this "room". The entire childhood house replica, including the garden, is just "The Portal" from now on.
So on the first exit there I encountered a very nice and bright version of the room. I was alone. The replica was almost perfect except for where the manifested mirror should have been, which I was looking for (past life reviewing method!). There was a "new" item that did not correspond to the original version. It was a a light wood bookcase or a shelf stand, similar to this:
http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:A...OZYZxCqfXiIONw
In desperate search for a mirror I flew out of the house again, around the corner and into the garden where there were lots of mirror manifestations for me lately. First it seemed there were some indeed. Again I encountered those huge rectangles. However, they turned out to by TV screens. On one I saw a creature that looked like the humanoids on Planet Of The Apes. On another one I saw Barbara Bel Geddes (Miss Ellie Ewing, the older among us might remember ...). Then I faded back to the Lightportal / physical bed again.
In another exit I was in the Lightportal again, with less light and asked for it (yeah, I forgot about my taught temples technique again!) and then there were many many lamps and it was lighted. Also there was an Allibert (which is what we call a mirror cabinet in bathrooms in Europe) instead of the window (portal) then:
http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:A...NflTsWwnF_-skw
I did not use this one, however, but used another standing mirror stand that was suddenly put there next to my bed. In it, I discovered myself with a bruised and distorted face. I immediately decided that it cannot remain this way and commanded the image to change. So I kind of „healed“ the mirror image of myself and then I saw a healthier (but also younger) version of me. I even did then, still looking at my image, some affirmations for general health for me, also hoping that I won't see myself like this in an astral mirror image again! Soon after it I lost it again and woke up.
Comments / Afterthoughts
Maybe this mirror technique was shown to me as an important self-healing method for me in the astral portal? Maybe the screens can then be used also to visualise and heal other people I know? (I remember the rold of Miss Ellie with having breast cancer surgery, btw. Cannot explain the apemen though).
Maybe the wooden shelves were there as a metaphor to tidy up my things and/or bring myself in order first? And that was why in the 2nd projection I was shown my sick image? And as Korpo once told me, maybe the Allibert hints to some kind of astral cleansing as it is related to bathrooms? Maybe it is not necessarily physical but also emotional healing that is necessary, I'm a bit stressed-out and also suffered from slight depressions recently, varying from day to day.
It is nice to note that my renewed "WFA" method works. Lying in bed in hypnopomp state and 'assuming' you are awake (which we then actually get after a few seconds) but then thinking and noticing otherwise is a very interesting technique to cultivate and explore further. The day before I even mixed together an mp3 with the spoken affirmation and a hemi-sync background for this technique, which listened to before sleep, so this probably helped with the success.
One more note about the rectangular screens: Two days ago I noted that the neighbour had a solar plant on their roof. One of these rectancular "solar mirrors" was actually the 'thing' that was lowered down for me when I viewed the Lady In Red again (see above).
I might certainly have 'seen' it before but not noticed or rememberd consciously. This interestingly shows again, how our subconscious mind, which 'inputs' zillions of visual and other sense impressions every day going unnoticed by our conscious awareness, retrieves things that were tucked away savely by our sensors and brain-mind-memory system, only to be 'used' when necessary for metaphors or astral tools as in this case.
21/Feb/2012: Reconciliation & The Gate Of Birds
21/Feb/2012
Reconciliation & The Gate Of Birds
Tonight I took Galantamine again. No 'exit' but I get about 80% lucid with a bike I am riding in the street in front of our house, going to the city. Still there seems to be some dream state residue as I somehow say to myself I need the bike for the exam. The bike is hard to ride, it seems not to be 100% alright, but it still works for me to get ahead.
Then I ride the next street downhill but I stop before an old friend's house. I must say 'previous' buddy because already 10 years ago we had a stupid argument and since then we evade each other. Other common buddies of us tried to reconcile us, but to no avail. I call for him to come out. He appears and ask him that we should reconcile and talk to each other again, and by this I really mean in physical life (I am lucid knowing well that this is a simulation or it's an aspect of him). He agrees and we shake hands. Before I resume my bike ride I turn around again and remind him that we should meet via another buddy of ours who is still friends with both of us. He nods.
So then I go further downhill towards the main road and try some deepening methods by looking at the ground, the surroundings and also my hands. Then I look further downhill where my target, the main street is. As a transit, there is a kind of open gate now (not there in the physical of course!), or rather, it's an elaborate archway.
Then on the main road behind it lands a flock of birds as if to wait for my arrival down there after I pass through the gate. I stay, however, still 20 metres away with my bike and think first about where to go / what to do when I am down there. The birds are still 'waiting' and more are landing when I decide to go for another retrieval. I close my eyes expecting to teleport to some place where s.o. needs my help, but it seems my battery has run down again and I wake up instead.
Comments / Afterthoughts
The reconciliation with the old buddy is a good thing. I had thought about this some time ago when I met him in dreams more often, to do this in lucid state. It solves some 'karmic issue' within this life. Since my "Johnny Smith miracle" I know that anything is possible and maybe it will work in the physical now for us too, if there's again a telepathic element involved. Maybe it was arranged for me to tidy things up for me, like a few days ago with the mirror image self-healing. I need to get clean before I go out into the Astral to explore. And maybe this ties in with the second part?
The gate could be a gateway to a more public (hence the main road!) area, the Astral. Maybe this is what "the exam" was referring to? To be able and ready to "enter" it?
The waiting swarm of birds could have been another elemental alignment, the way Korpo explained it to me in the Animals thread? There are also other metaphoric interpretations, but I don't know if the more negative interpretation of Dreammoods makes sense to me: Flock To see a flock of birds in your dream represent a lack of objectivity in your decision-making and thinking process. Since I am arranging and re-arranging for temp jobs now (to finance and bridge my healer training) another interpretation hits the nail on the head: To dream of a swarm of birds, means you must arrange for a good job, in order to achieve larger and more easy success. Another one: To dream that a swarm is approaching you, suggests that you are to understand the very important news. But which news? Need to wait if there is some news for me in the coming days.
Re: 21/Feb/2012: Reconciliation & The Gate Of Birds
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Volgerle
Since I am arranging and re-arranging for temp jobs now (to finance and bridge my healer training) another
interpretation hits the nail on the head:
To dream of a swarm of birds, means you must arrange for a good job, in order to achieve larger and more easy success. Another one:
To dream that a swarm is approaching you, suggests that you are to understand the very important news. But which news? Need to wait if there is some news for me in the coming days.
update: just reveived an email this afternoon as an answer an e-mail request by me from a local company about info on a temp job on offer here in my hometown (the very physical one that I live in now again and whose replica I dream/project into all the time anyway) and that I can apply to them (send CV) - so maybe the "news to understand" was that I really had "landed a little job" in my hometown now?:cool:
21/Mar/2012: (Ms) Sinera's Voice?
21/Mar/2012
(Ms) Sinera's Voice?
Tonight in the Lightportal, I tried to manifest that 'vintage' b/w-TV set again. As things weren't as stable as wished for, it turned out to be an old, 'vintage' tape recorder instead. I asked the question anyway: 'What is the birth date or year of birth of Sinera / Lady In Red?'
Very faintly, I heard a sweet woman's voice from the tape running. German but with a sweet French accent. I tried to listen hard and closely but the only thing I got was "Wednesday" and a "5" , maybe as part of a greater number (unfortunately in German this could also be part of any number with a 5, e.g. 15, 25, 50, 500, 150, 1500 - so it's not like n English where you have fiv- or fif-(ty/-teen) pronounced differently). Before I could make out more it was over again.
Comments / Afterthoughts
:shrug:
*sarcasm on* "Sinera, darling. How nice to have 'heard' of you again. So you were born any point in time in human history on a Wednesday? Wow! And with a 5 anywhere in your birth date or year of birth? Or was it 5 o'clock? How very helpful. Sweetheart, please speak up next time for me or take a megaphone then, would you? Pleeeeaaase ..." *sarcasm off*
The (re)search continues ...
13/Apr/2012: The 9-O'Clock-Heaven
13/Apr/2012
The 9-O'Clock-Heaven
Recently I had a dry period again or only some short lucidventures that were rather inconclusive and useless to me. Tonight I had an exit into a kind of huge 'business' building. Then I went outside and met a nice girl. She was Asian and we seemed to know eachother. I saw my reflection dimly in one of the dark-tinted glasses of the huge window front of the business building and noted I was looking like an Asian man, too. I should note here I was lucid and that I knew that 'I was me' having this experience.
I went along the street talking to the woman. It seemed the woman's looks constantly changed, as appearances weren't stable. So might I, but I did not pay attention to my looks anymore. She looked more Caucasian again when I asked here (remembering that I am here to explore) what this place is called. The answer came as a surprise as I just expected a (known) city name:
"This is the Nine-O'clock-Heaven".
I went on into a building again and then there was a man, maybe even the woman had turned into this man, and he made obscene gestures to me, but not in an unfriendly way. I asked him (still the explorer attitude) if this is a kind of "heaven" then would this be an area for resting and working through ones incarnations and preparing maybe for the next one. I also told him that I 'am incarnated' in a physical world and so I am just a visitor to this 'heaven'.
He then told me he is "not interested anymore" and vanished.
Comments / Afterthoughts
There is a pattern that goes through many of my explorations. Whenever I ask some persons or entities (or thought forms?) questions regarding my exploration, they seem not to be able or willing to handle it. Not everyone was so blatantly brushing me off as this guy did, however.
E.g. in another projection I also asked a guy what this place was (it was another city's pedestrian zone) and if he knew what an incarnation in a physical world is where I am from and how my plane might relate to his world. He replied that he did not understand at all what I meant and dissolved.
And what about this 9-o'clock heaven business? It seemed a business and 'busy' area, people were wearing busniess suits. Maybe it is an astral area for white-collar business people who, during their physical lives, liked to get up in the morning and go to work every day (at ca. 9:00 a.m.) and thus want to keep up that habit? So this was or kind of is 'heaven' for them?
I cannot sympathise.:?
